Fan-Fiction Theater 3000 EPISODE: 029 -- Last Stretch. Today's Victim: Falkyn -- Chapter 29 by Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) MSTed by Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) and Tory L. Brown (tory_brown@yahoo.com) Disclaimer: The Real Ghostbusters are owned by Sony/DIC and Mystery Science Theatre 3K is owned by Best Brains inc., and we hope they don't mind us using their characters and settings. FFT3K Theme Song [cue MST3K track] In the not-too-distant future way out and deep in space A mysterious android, name is D, Is in a dark and lonely place Stuck up on SoL, all alone, Why not do an E.T. and grab a phone? He ran some tests until some me-te-ors Made the satellite home for the Ghost-bust-ers... (Peter: "IT'S RAY'S FAULT!!!") (Ray: "IS NOT!") "I'm reading cheesy fanfics, The worst, I can find,(LA LA LA) We'll have to sit and read them all, Or you'll gradually lose your mind!" (LA LA LA) Now keep in mind, the 'busters can't control Where the fanfics begin or end, (LA LA LA) D'll try to keep the sanity Of his newfound 'busting friends! GB Roll Call! Spengler! (We're on!) Zeddemore! (Oh, man!) Ray Stantz! (Check this out...HAI-KEEBA!) Venkmaaaaaan! (Hey, baby!) If you're wonderin' how they eat and breathe And other science facts, Just tell yourself, "It's just a MST," And you should really just relax. For Fan Fiction Theater, 3000! [Guitar twang] Peter: It should be The Real Ghostbusters 3000! *KBANG* Peter: OOOOF! [D retracts the Rocket Fist] STARRING: Spengler, Egon, Dr. 6'3" Blond hair, blue eyes (which happen to be myopic, hence the red glasses) A genius with an exaggerated I.Q. Contains multiple degrees in the field of parapsychology and physics. He is responsible for the creation of the proton packs and the ecto-containment unit. Stantz, Ray, Dr. 5'8" Red hair, brown eyes The youngest member of the group, second to Egon in holding multiple degrees. He specializes in engineering and occult sciences. Egon once said he had the mental state of a six year old. Venkman, Peter, Dr. 5'10" Dk. Brown hair, green eyes All-around idiot (no kidding, Peter: HEY!) Amazingly, he has two Ph.D's, one in psychology and the other in parapsychology. He's actually smarter than he pretends to be. Most trouble they're in, is because of Peter. Zeddemore, Winston, Dr. 5'11" Black hair, brown eyes The only member of the group who doesn't have a Ph.D, he earned his 'Dr' title as an honorary member of Columbia University. The only member of the group who has common sense (Winston: Damn straight!). D 6'0" No hair, yellow eyes A Model 27 High-Density Productivity Android that took residence at the abandoned Satellite of Love. Looks like a cross between Adam of Shining Force and Data from ST: TNG. * * * * [On the VoFF, the ex-Satellite of Love] The Ghostbusters were full of anxiety; the last two chapters of Falkyn's story had arrived, and it was only a matter of time before they had to go into the Theatre to MST Chapter 29. "Wasn't that one a virus?" Ray had asked when it arrived. D replied, "Negative. The virus called '29' is only connected to the chapter of the same number by name. Chapter 29 itself is virus-free." Now, Egon and Ray were putting the final touches on Ecto-1K before they left, Winston was off in the holocabana, and Peter was just pacing the bridge. Windy had gone off and just disappeared. "How much longer until we have to go?" Peter asked, aggrivated. "Normally," D began, "you're reluctant to MST a chapter." Peter just repeated his question. "Any time now, Mr. Venkman." The yellow lights flashed on and the klaxons blared. As Peter hurried to the Theatre, he was stopped in his tracks. "GYAH!" Windy had suddenly materialized out of thin air. "Gee, what's his problem?" While Egon and Ray tried to calm Peter down, with Winston coming out of the holocabana, D told her, "He most likely doesn't know that most vampires can polymorph into a mist and back. Let's go to the Theatre." [Door sequence: 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1] [The 'busters, Windy, and D sit down] > Falkyn -- Chapter 29 > By: Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) > >________________________________________________________ Peter: AWRIGHT!!! ONE MORE TO GO! D: But you have to sit through this one, first. Peter: DAMN! > Falkyn sat in meditation, contemplating his life. Winston: But for some odd reason, all he saw was doors. Oak doors, French doors, bank vault doors... Ray: He wouldn't rob a bank! Winston: And why not? Ray: If he did, you think he'd be living in the mountains?! > /My life has turned into a soap opera,/ he thought. /What else can >happen to me that hasn't already?/ Peter: Besides you bashing in more doors? Windy: I know something that hasn't happened. Ray: Windy, don't! Windy: What!? I mean him DYING! Ray: Oh! > The clouds rolled in and thunder echoed from afar. A bolt of >lightning came down some distance away, and then a forked bolt struck very >near where the warrior sat. Egon: Did Falkyn make Tory angry!? VO Tory: Not funny, Spengler! > The three prongs of the electric discharge >gradually formed into three human beings. All had brown hair and dark eyes, D: Oh dear. Peter: NOT MORE SELF-INSERTION! AHHHHHHHHHH! Egon: Now, now, Peter. We cannot be sure until we've read more. Winston: Sounded a bit optimistic there, Egon. Egon: Well, I try... >but one of them had longer, lighter hair and was stroking it lightly. His >face was clean and shaven, and a dreamy look was evident in his eyes. Windy: O_O [whistles] VO Derek: You know, you're whistling at me... Windy: AHA! So it IS Self-insertion! VO Derek: Whoops! Ray: She gotcha there! VO Derek: Chikusho... > The third one wore a heavy, black leather jacket and black leather >gloves, one of which he was tightning. His face was marked with a dark >brown beard and moustache. Windy: I knew Derek's taste for leather was going too far! Others: O.o Winston: Windy, spare us the details! Windy: Gomen! > The one in the middle was unremarkable, wearing black denim, silver- >rimmed glasses, and shoulder-length hair. Over his shoulder was slung a Ray: Opossum?! Peter: Ray, what would he be doing with an opossum?! Ray: I dunno! >grayish ski jacket. "Falkyn," the one in the middle began, "your arduous >life is nearing completion. You have done many things for the sake of good >in your existence. You have twice defeated the ultimate evil, and you have >earned the respect and friendship of many." Peter: (Falkyn) Thank you, Gautama Buddah! > "Your toughness nears my own," the gloved one announced. Winston: You've got to be kidding me?! Windy: Winston... don't tempt them... Winston: Oh yeah, right. > "Your >fighting skills were an extension of me, but you have surpassed my >expectations." Egon: So by this, it can be said that Derek sees himself as Falkyn. Ray: And Falkyn has been nothing but one long self-insertion arc. Peter: From one deranged chapter to another! > The narcissistic one stopped worshipping himself long enough to say, [short silence] All: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! D: I wouldn't laugh if I were you. Others: BWAHAHAHAHAHAH--- [Streaks of lightning falls from the sky, blasting everyone but D] Others: OUCH! >"You've won the envy and hearts of beautiful women all over the Islands. Winston: WHAT?! Peter: That's stretching it a bit there. Egon: Why would someone be envious? Do they want to be scarred as well!? Ray: Pull the other one! It has bells on it! Windy: When the *BLEEP* did this happen?! Li'na and Sharak DO NOT count! You stupid son of a *BLEEP* I swear this couldn't be no *BLEEP* dumber! *BLEEP* *BLEEP* [Gets up and stomps out] Others: O_O [Suddenly Tory appears] Tory: WHOA! Peter: GYAH! D: Ms. Brown? Tory: D, don't ask. Just don't ask. > You have >me to thank for your natural good looks, albeit the extensive scarring." >His voice was accented with a touch of English. Tory: Ugh! I have to read this!? Winston: Suffer like the rest of us! Tory: [whips out her whip and snaps it at Winston] Winston: YIPE! > Consternated, Falkyn asked, "Just who are you three?" Peter: Bets? Egon: I'd say Id, Ego and Superego. Peter: Exactly! > The one in the middle raised his arms and replied, "I AM THE AUTHOR!" Peter: Let me be the first to say, Whoop-de-friggin-do! Others: [slowly inching away] Tory: Don't worry, he has his hands full with an irate vampire. D: She didn't! Tory: She did, and she *still* is! >When he spoke the last word, lightning forked down around him and the >thunder roared. Peter: Oh no! Egon: MUHAHAHAR! IMPENDING DOOM! [Lightning flashes and thunder rumbles] Tory: Settle down! [snickers her whip at Egon] Egon: YEOUCH! > "Impressive, to say the least. but who are the others?" Peter: Need we guess? > The Author raised his arm toward the narcissist. "That's Id, and the >bodyguard-ish guy is Superego." Egon: [smug expression] Pay up! Peter: [Gives Egon a dollar] > Falkyn raised his eyebrow. "I take it you are Ego?" Tory: Falkyn called it right! Peter: And I take it *you* are Egon! Egon: Har, har. > "Not only am I Ego, I AM THE AUTHOR!" Winston: Nope, I won't sink that low. Ray: Why do it? The fic's done it for you! > Again, the Author raised his arms and lightning forked about him. Egon: You cannot work the IMPENDING DOOM! [lightning flashes and thunder grumbles] Tory: No, but I can work the DEVASTATING WHIP! [cracks her whip at Egon] Egon: YIPE! D: Thank you, Tory. > Superego put his hand on the Author's shoulder. "You have /got/ to >learn to stop doing that. You could zing someone one of these days!" [Everyone looks at Egon] Egon: What?! [Break lights come on] Peter: Outta here! D: I'm getting a message from the Master. I will take it on the bridge. [They file out of the Theatre.] [On the bridge...] D: Yes, Master? [Deep 13] Derek: When this is over, I've been thinking about giving you a refit. [VoFF] D: A refit, Master? [Deep 13] Derek: Yeah. I want to change that external plating; get rid of that ugly tarnished-yellow. Have you ever seen the Guyver? [VoFF] D: Yes, I have. [Deep 13] Derek: It'll be something sorta like that, but without all the sharp protrusions and weapons. You get to keep the Rocket Fist, though. [Elsewhere...] Winston: I wonder what Windy's problem is? Peter: Maybe it's that time of the month? *THWACK* Argh! Tory: Hentai bastard! Be glad she didn't hear you! VO Windy: I did... Peter: CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP!!! [Windy forms out of the mist] Windy: Been too long, SHOCKING GRASP! *BZAP* Peter: AIYAIYAIYAIIIII! [hair is standing on end] [Movie sign again] D: Back we go into the Theatre... Peter: Let me in there!!! [runs by everyone] Windy: I'm not going back in there. Falkyn is SUCH A FRIGGIN' IDIOT!!! Egon: But if you don't, you will suffocate when the oxygen is removed. Windy: I'm not worried! D: Although vampires require oxygen to live--so to speak--they can enter a state of hibernation when the oxygen supply is scarce. Windy: [Does an akanbe] Be-da! Now go away! [Door Sequence: 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1] [They take their seats] > Falkyn stood and adjusted his gi shirt. "Might I ask of you a >question?" Peter: (Falkyn) What's two plus two?! > The Author bade Falkyn to continue. > "Author, why have you, Id, and Superego come here? Is your power not >all-reaching and omnipotent? I mean, why send avatars when you can meddle >from your Plane?" All: O.o Egon: That had to be the most complete dissection of the self-inserted Ego. Winston: I agree! > "Falkyn, your destiny has been fulfilled. 'Twice will the Warrior Ray: Once bitten... Winston: Ewww, Ray! >thwart Evil, and the Warrior will depart, appointing his Successor.' Now is Tory: --the time of pain. What was will be, what is will be no more. Ray: TORY, NO! [A large boom is heard and the room starts to shake] Tory: O_o I forgot! Fourth Wall: Oh, now that was just WRONG! Tory: SORRY! >the time for you to depart and choose your successor. I will give you all >the time you require, but when you have, return here so you can inform us of >the new Warrior who will protect this world from Thanatos." Peter: Huh?! Ray: I think he's saying Falkyn's gonna die! Peter: Oh that's nice...real nice. Just what I'd like before I croak, a odd man appearing and telling me that I'm gonna die! > The Author D: Formally known as Derek Floyd... >shifted the jacket to his other shoulder and continued. "You will have to >appoint your successor, because the prophecy must be fulfilled, otherwise... >Well, you know what will happen." Ray: You're going to get a one-liner death just like the rest of them! > "No, I do not." Peter: (Author) Dammit, yes you do! Winston: (Falkyn) Duh, no I don't! Heeyuck! Peter: (Author) You do! Winston: (Falkyn) I don't! Peter: (Author) You do, you do! Winston: (Falkyn) I don't, I don't! Peter: (Author) DO! Winston: (Falkyn) DON'T! Tory: SHADDUP! [she cracks her whip] Peter & Winston: EEP! > "You know, because I AM THE AUTHOR!" Egon: At this point I don't think ANYBODY knows! > The Author rained lightning down upon the mountainside a third time. Egon: ... Tory: Egon, if I even see a whisker of lightning...you're mine! Egon: [VERY innocent] What!? >"You may encounter Id and Superego while in town. They won't cause you any >trouble, but remember that they are extensions of me, and I know what they >see." > Winston: How odd... in a freakish sort of way. Ray: Yuck! > Falkyn did his usual rounds in town, informing his friends that he >was leaving for good. Peter: So he always told them he was leaving for good!? No wonder nobody missed him! > They were all sad to see him leave, but he assured >them they would still have a protector. He pondered who he could appoint, >as per the Author's orders. Winston: Oh no... not Kerad! Ray: What? He's killing off Falkyn to put an obvious SI char in the story!? AAH! > /Li'na perhaps, but I cannot burden her with such a task. Tory: Well, that and she's not bright enough to even COMPREHEND! Egon: Neither you nor Windy has liked Li'na. Tory: You're wrong. I hated Li'na, but Windy hated Tayid! VO Windy: BAKA TAYID! Tory: See! > Tenma is >too old; his reflexes are slowing Peter: Tenma's, what, 22!? Winston: Well, that's old, considering RPG! Peter: In that case, we should all be dead now! Winston: AHH! Egon: AHHH! Ray: AHHH! Peter: AHHH! Tory: Well, I'd be a grandma now... URGH! > and he's more engrossed in his training >and making small talk with his sensei. I have no family that I know of to >turn to, and that leaves me with one choice.../ > Ray: No! Not him! Egon: Don't say it, Ray! Ray: I just know it's going to be *him!* Egon: No, not *him!* Ray: Yes, *him!* Peter: Would you two stop it with the "HIM" talk!? You're freaking me out! > "Falkyn, what brings you to my home?" Egon: Asassination?! Winston: Don't we wish. > "This is very important, Kerad. I have to leave the Islands; my >destiny has been fulfilled." Ray: ARGH! It is him! Tory: Down, Ray! > Kerad bowed his head. "It will pain all of us to see you leave. You >are a role model for many young children, and the adults look to you as a >savior of their homes. But why come to me?" Peter: (Falkyn) The Author told me to... Egon: Who is he? Enzo!? Winston: Nice and obscure, Egon... > "The Author himself has requested that I--" Tory: (Falkyn) KILL YOU! HEEEYAAAHHHH! Egon: (Kerad) D'OH! AHHHH! > Kerad interrupted. "You mean to tell me that YOU have met THE >Author, the supreme force in our lives? All: [starts snickering] Peter: [imitating a PA system] *CLICK* What is he smoking? *CLICK* Can I have some? > What does He look like?" Ray: I don't think Kerad needs to ask that question... Winston: Just look in the mirror, ya freak! > "--That I appoint a successor to continue His Prophecy: 'Twice will >the Warrior thwart Evil, and the Warrior will depart, appointing his >Successor.' Tory: Whoa! Anyone have a First Wave flashback?! Egon: [blinks] Now that you've mentioned it... [starts shuddering] > I have chosen you, Kerad Dyilf, to be the new Warrior of His >Prophecy. Peter: "His?" Now he's God!? VO Lord: That's 'The Lord' to you, buddy! VO Satan: Who asked you! Peter: I really hate that! > This brings many responsibilities upon yourself: you must actively >oppose Thanatos's evil influence, and bring about good in its place. That >is the way of the Author, and that is the Warrior's way, my way, and now it >is your way." Winston: And I'm going *THIS* way! [tries to leave out] Tory: It's not gonna work, Zeddemore! Winston: Well, I tried! D: It is the Warrior's way, the Nomad's way, the Curds and Whey! All: WHAT WAS THAT?!? D: *CLICK* System glitch, nothing serious. > "No way," Kerad said, attempting to infuse humor into this otherwise >dramatic moment. "Sorry, I just had to say that." All: [nervously] Ahhhahahahaha--hah--ha---ha? > "I will implore the Author to grant the power that He granted me unto >you, so you can fight just as I can. I don't know where He intends me to >go, but in His infinite wisdom and intelligence, I will go in the right >direction." Peter: Oh geez, Falkyn's sounding like Egon! Egon: I beg your pardon! I take offense to the idea that you find something in common between me and-- Peter: See what I mean! ARGH! > "Will you ever return, my friend?" Ray: NEWS FLASH! Dying is permanent! Winston: Not by the rules of fanfiction. Any character that dies has a slim chance of returning. D: Unless you include the almost limitless FF7 fanfics with Sephiroth, Aeris, Rufus, etc. > Falkyn shook his head and replied, "No, unless the Author wills it. >You must live up to His expectations, and perform as I did, with honor and >humility. You are the purveyor of Good in the covert war with Evil." Tory: Now he's Obi-wan Falkyn! D: (Leia) Help me, Obi-Falkyn Kenobi, you're my only hope... There's a door I have to go through, but it won't open! VO Derek: D... Don't you start! > He >bowed and finished with, "May the Author see your fight is just and pure." > "I don't like it when people go religious on me; I've had my share of >R'itna's Witnesses at my door." Tory: O_O Others: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Tory: That funny, huh? Peter: For a second... then it got stupid. Tory: Understood. > "I have to go. Kerad, the life of the Islands' inhabitants is in >your hands." > Winston: Oh, boy. I'd rather watch Ray with a flamethrower. Ray: HEY! > Falkyn made his way from Kerad's cottage back to Rakhast. As he >trekked back to his mountainside home, he encountered Id, giving a red rose Tory: Tuxedo Kamen-sama!! Ghostbusters: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! >to a young blonde woman and gently kissing the back of her hand. He caught >Falkyn in the corner of his eye, then said something to the woman. Ray: (Falkyn ala Ash) Gimme some Chi, baby! Tory: Oh, boo! > He walked >over to Falkyn and asked, "Have you found your successor?" > "I have. I have told him the responsibilities of his new position, >and he understands that I may not return." Ray: "may not?" Dude, you're dying! > "Superego's off in some seedy tavern, drinking and partaking of bar >brawls. I'd never do such a thing; it would damage my looks." Tory: Any of you say a word and it's lightning bolts! Ghostbusters: [VERY innocent] What? > "I see. I must report to the Author, and learn of where I must go >next." Winston: (Falkyn) Oak Door Island, here I come! > Id calmly ran his fingers through his luxuriant hair and said, "You >already have. Didn't he tell you that Superego and I are direct extensions >of his psyche?" Peter: No, he flunked Psychology 101! Ray: Ahh, the sounds of the bitter psychologist. Peter: I am not bitter! Ray: Uhhuh. Tell me about your childhood. Peter: Don't push it, Ray! > "Very well. Will you tell me where I go from here?" Winston: Don't you feel the flames licking at you?! Egon: That's harsh! > Id's lady friend was getting impatient. "I'd never leave a woman >like this. I must be going now. Find Superego and ask him, if he's sober >enough to understand what you're saying. Ta-ta." Tory: Toodles! > Id returned to the woman, and they walked off, arm in arm. Ray: Leg in leg. Winston: Elbow in elbow. Peter: Bed in bed. Others: PETER!! Peter: What?! > > Falkyn walked past a tavern, and he saw a bulky and fat biker fly out Egon: So he's fat, bulky AND can fly. Check, please! D: "Fly" as in "thrown". >the doorway. Superego followed him out, staggering slightly, and said with >foul breath, "You don't dish the Author in my prezensh. I'll whoop you like >a dog if ya do that 'gain. Now get outta my shite!" All: O.o Tory: Uh, I think that's sight, right, D? D: Correct. His speech is slurred from his wanton consumption of alcohol. > The biker gathered himself up and ran, gut flapping as he did so. All: EWWWW! Tory: ITAI! ITAI! Ray: Definitely! > "Superego, where do I go from here?" Falkyn asked. Winston: Who is he, Ryouga?! Tory: At least I can remember Ryouga not begging to be told where to go. > Superego's eyes were glazed over and tinted pink. "Well, I dunno, >'cuz I kin't tink 'bout it ri'now." Peter: (Superego) Hourked on phonix werkued four mee! > One whiff of Superego's breath and Falkyn was ready to keel over. >"I think I'll ask Ego." > Tory: Oh for heaven's sake, Falkyn. JUST GO NORTH! > "Your Superego is flat drunk, Author." > The Author shook his head. "I keep telling Superego to stay sober, >but does he listen? No. What will I do with him?" Peter: Nothing. > Falkyn looked westward. "Where do I go from here? Kerad is the new >protector, and thus I must leave the Islands for whatever happens next. But >the burning question is this: what is my ultimate destination?" Egon: (Author) Remember that hot place with the seven circles... Ray: (Falkyn) NOT THERE! AHHHHH!!! > "I cannot reveal that." Peter: And we're glad that you can't! > The Author crossed his arms and followed >Falkyn's gaze. "I'll tell you this much: there is a boat leaving the harbor Egon: (Author) -- be under it. Winston: Egon, what did I tell you about the dark side? Egon: Don't give me that, Winston. You were thinking the same thing! Winston: Maybe, but I didn't vocalize it! >town of Lungo in a week. It's called the /Crystal Beauty,/ and I'm telling >you to be on it when it leaves next week." > Egon: Or under it. It doesn't matter, you're dying anyway. Others: EGON! Egon: Sorry! > After three days of searching, Falkyn found the location of his old >protoge. Tory: Oh no, Li'na is going to try and seduce him again! Ray: He went looking for her. Maybe he wants to be seduced. Others: EWWW! Ray: [thinks] Ahh! EW! > "Li'na," he began, "I'm leaving the Islands in four days. I had to >tell you so, and I have something for you." All: O.o D: Hentai! Tory: Are not! > He slid off his sword sheath and handed it, katana within, to Li'na. D: [makes the sound of clearing his throat] Tory: Okay, maybe a bit hentai. > "I... I don't know what to say," she told him. "But, why are you >going? I thought you would stay here until you died." Ray: He's GOING to die. Winston: Ray, you've established that Falkyn is dying. Let it go. Ray: Sorry. > "I cannot. Li, the Author Himself appeared to me not too long ago. >He told me I had fulfilled His Prophecy, and I was to leave the Islands and >seek my destiny, after my successor took my place." > "Have you come to grant me that title?" she inquired. Peter: Oh, we've got a title for you.... Tory: [glare] Peter: But that's another thing I can't say. > "Unfortunately, I already appointed that successor. I have to talk >to Tenma and give him this news. Take care of yourself, Li'na. I'll >remember you when I'm gone." Ray: I don't think dead people remember anything. Peter: Are you listening to yourself. We *are* Ghostbusters! Ray: Oh, you're right! [slouches down in his chair] > As Falkyn turned to leave, Li'na grabbed him by the arm. "Wait." >She reached behind her head and undid her ponytail. Her cinnamon tresses Winston: And sugar coated eyes... [The rest look at Winston funny] >billowed around her as she handed him a length of blue ribbon. "Take it. >It should remind you of me while you're wherever you are." Tory: Wait a minute! Egon: Now what? Tory: Final Fantasy 7! End of Disc 1! Ray: Hey, you're right! All she needs is the white materia! Egon: Now *THAT* was obscure. > Falkyn silently stared at the ribbon in his hand. "Don't worry about >it. I could never forget you, or anyone." Winston: Now his name, that's a horse of a different color! > She stopped him from leaving again. "Who is the new guy?" Tory: Someone that's not gonna want to sleep with YOU! > "Kerad Dyilf. I have to meet and speak with Tenma. Sayonara, Li'na- >chan." Peter: (Li'na) [baddly dubbed falsetto] Sai-yo-nara, Falkyn-koon! HEEEYAAHH! > As Falkyn left, Li'na recalled he name he had given her. "Kerad?" >she said to herself. "He's still around? What's he been up to all these >years?" Tory: What did I say! He's not going to want you! Winston: Not Li'na again! ARRGH! [Tory and Winston start yelling at the screen] Egon: Here they go again. Peter: I hate watching stuff with Winston. Ray: It's just like how he always solve the mysteries. > > "Tenma, I have to speak with you." > The giant of a man stepped aside and allowed Falkyn to enter the dojo >through the entrance he formerly blocked. "Speak your mind, friend." Egon: And that would take about... ten seconds. Tory: That was a bit harsh, Egon. Egon: I apologize... but I stand by what I said. > "I'm leaving the Islands, and I probably won't return again. Ray: (Falkyn) My carriage is stuck. Others: Huh?! Ray: ...Never mind. > The >Author Himself told me this." Tory: (Falkyn) And didn't tell you. Nyah nyah, ni, nyah nyah! > Tenma's eye widened with surprise. "You mean He visited you and told >you to leave?" Peter: (Falkyn) No, he told me to do the grocery shopping! > "Not until after I appoint a successor for His Prophecy, which I >already have. I had to tell you this, just in case you decided to ask for >my help. The new defender's name is Kerad Dyilf, and he lives just outside >the city limits of Rakhast in Kumay. But don't go to him if you can avoid >it. Sayonara, Tenma-san." Winston: (Falkyn) Meaning go there to *KILL* him. Peter: (Tenma) Falkyn, what's wrong with your eye? > "You will be missed, Falkyn. We will all remember you when you are >gone. Even though you are two heads shorter than I, at times I've looked up >to you." > Peter: (Tenma) I got my *EYE* on you! D: Enough with the 'eye' jokes already. It has been established that Tenma is cycloptic almost 20 chapters ago. Peter: Party pooper! > "I've said my goodbyes, and I'm ready to leave. I don't have >anything to take with me, just what I have with me right now." Winston: You don't need luggage on the other side. Tory: Spoken like a true Ghostbuster. > The Author looked to the sky. "Your destiny has been fulfilled, and >you no longer need to concern yourself with these Islands. In just a few >short days, you will depart forever. Peter: (Author) However, I won't tell you how you're going to croak. Winston: (Falkyn) Awwww! > Kerad is the new protector, who will >fight Thanatos's forces and influences. I will ensure that he does it just >as well as you have." Tory: Minus the door destruction. Egon: And the doors rejoiced! All: Yay! > "Author," Falkyn said, dropping to one knee, "I must ask you to >bestow upon Kerad the same abilities you gave to me. If he is to be the new >protector, he will need them." Peter: Plus the ability to make women harf at will! > "It is done," the Author announced. "Id and Superego will return >with me to our Plane, where I shall watch Kerad defend as you have before." > The Author raised his hands towards the heavens. "THE AUTHOR HAS >SPOKEN!" Egon: And no one has listened. > Lightning flashed down across the area, blanketing it in rolling >thunder. When it abated, the Author was gone; Id and Superego with him. Winston: Good riddance! D: That's the end of 29. Ghostbusters: HUUZZZAAAHHH! [stampedes out of the theater] Tory: Ouch! [Door Sign] [6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1] [The Ghostbusters were rife with anticipation of leaving.] Peter: I'm gonna go pack! Egon: I was in the middle of a minor tune-up before the MSTing. Let's go, Ray. Windy: [coming out of hibernation] So, who's going to be the next victim of this horror? D: That would be Tenma-- Windy & Tory: [eyes go sparkly] Tenma-chan! Totemo kawaii! D: *AHEM* Li'na-- Tory: That bimbo? D: --and Falkyn. All: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?! D: I am merely the messenger. I am not responsible. [Tory hits the button as everybody stalks toward D, intent on dismantling him.] [ FWOOOOOOOOOSH! ] \ | / \ | / \ | / \|/ -----O----- /|\ / | \ / | \ / | \ [Screen grows dark, voices are overhead] "Ladies? Ghosbusters? What are you planning? I didn't plan this! Get that socket wrench away from me!" "MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAR! GET HIM!" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *CLANK* *CLANK* *FZZZ* *CLINK* ... "Master! Help me! They took my arms off and they threw them over there! Then they took my legs off and they threw them over there!" "That's you all over the place! I'll see what I can do about it." ________________________________________________________________________ "Falkyn, Chapter 29" by: Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) SHAMELESS PLUGS: You can find the rest of Falkyn the MSTing at: http://winston_zeddemore.tripod.com/Falkyn Tory's Real Ghostbusters Webpage: http://winston_zeddemore.tripod.com Komera Waddi's RPG and Interactive Stories: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Stadium/4989/ EMAIL US! Tory L. Brown (tory_brown@yahoo.com) Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) _____________________________________________________________________ > Falkyn did his usual rounds in town, informing his friends that he >was leaving for good. Peter: So he always told them he was leaving for good!? No wonder nobody missed him!