Fan-Fiction Theater 3000 EPISODE: 009 -- Chibi Chibi! Today's Victim: Falkyn -- Chapter 9 by Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) MSTed by Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) and Tory L. Brown (tory_brown@yahoo.com) Disclaimer: The Real Ghostbusters are owned by Sony/DIC and Mystery Science Theatre 3K is owned by Best Brains inc., and we hope they don't mind us using their characters and settings. Tory and Derek...well...they're just visiting! FFT3K Theme Song Winston: For once, it's my turn. Peter: Just cue the darn thing. Winston: *THWAP* Peter: OUCH! [cue MST3K track] In the not-too-distant future way out and deep in space A mysterious android, name is D, Is in a dark and lonely place Stuck up on SoL, all alone, Why not do an E.T. and grab a phone? He ran some tests until some me-te-ors Made the satellite home for the Ghost-bust-ers... (Peter: "IT'S RAY'S FAULT!!!") (Ray: "IS NOT!") "I'm reading cheesy fanfics, The worst, I can find,(LA LA LA) We'll have to sit and read them all, Or you'll gradually lose your mind!" (LA LA LA) Now keep in mind, the 'busters can't control Where the fanfics begin or end, (LA LA LA) D'll try to keep the sanity Of his newfound 'busting friends! GB Roll Call! Spengler! (We're on!) Zeddemore! (Oh, man!) Ray Stantz! (Check this out...HAI-KEEBA!) Venkmaaaaaan! (Hey, baby!) If you're wonderin' how they eat and breathe And other science facts, Just tell yourself, "It's just a MST," And you should really just relax. For Fan Fiction Theater, 3000! [Guitar twang] Peter: It should be The Real Ghostbusters 3000! *KBANG* Peter: OOOOF! [D retracts the Rocket Fist] STARRING: Spengler, Egon, Dr. 6'3" Blond hair, blue eyes (which happen to be myopic, hence the red glasses) A genius with an exaggerated I.Q. Contains multiple degrees in the field of parapsychology and physics. He is responsible for the creation of the proton packs and the ecto-containment unit. Stantz, Ray, Dr. 5'8" Red hair, brown eyes The youngest member of the group, second to Egon in holding multiple degrees. He specializes in engineering and occult sciences. Egon once said he had the mental state of a six year old. Venkman, Peter, Dr. 5'10" Dk. Brown hair, green eyes All-around idiot (no kidding, Peter: HEY!) Amazingly, he has two Ph.D's, one in psychology and the other in parapsychology. He's actually smarter than he pretends to be. Most trouble they're in, is because of Peter. Zeddemore, Winston, Dr. 5'11" Black hair, brown eyes The only member of the group who doesn't have a Ph.D, he earned his 'Dr' title as an honorary member of Columbia University. The only member of the group who has common sense (Winston: Damn straight!). D 6'0" No hair, yellow eyes A Model 27 High-Density Productivity Android that took residence at the abandoned Satellite of Love. How or why he's there, no one knows. Looks like a cross between Adam of Shining Force and Data from ST: TNG. * * * * [On the VoFF, the ex-Satellite of Love] [Tory is sitting in front of the television with a bowl of popcorn. She's watching something that's causing her to throw popcorn at the screen and yell in Spanish and Japanese!] Tory: [flings yet more popcorn] BAKA!!! QUE ABURRIDO!!! [Derek, always being woken by the loud woman, enters armed with some type of object.] Derek: Darnit, must you make so much noise! Tory: bah, cierra la boca! Derek: NANI?! Tory: I said SHADDUP! Derek: I see, is it being trapped here making you cranky? Tory: Making?! Derek: Scratch that, you *are* cranky. Tory: Of course! VO D: Master, Dr. Spengler wants you both to head to the front bridge, he believes he's corrected the situation! Tory: WHOOOHOOO! [Tory jumps up, overturning the bowl of popcorn. She runs past Derek and grabs him, dragging him behind her.] Derek: More junk I'll have to clean UUUUPPPPPPP! [Bridge of VoFF] Tory: All right Egon, we're here! Derek: Can I have my arm back, please!? Tory: Here, take the stupid thing! VO Ray: Ok, everything's set and we think we have it ready! VO Winston: Get ready! VO Peter: Hey, Egon, what's this do?! VO Egon: Huh? Oh, no, PETER! DON'T TOUCH THAT BUTT-- [Lights flash and the whole bridge begins to shake.] [Suddenly the bridge is put into darkness] "Derek?" "Tory?" "Damn, we're still here!" "Venkman, I told you not to TOUCH THE BUTTON!" "You mean this is Peter's fault?!" "EEP!" "VENKMAN!!!!!" "WHIP OF SCORCHING...STRIKE!" "ITAIIIII!" "Gomen nasai, Ray!!!" "D, MOVE!" "Stop shoving, Egon!" "I'm over here!" "D, hit Peter with the Rocket Fist!" "Right away, Winston!" *KBANG* "OOOOFFFF!!! YOU STUPID BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP!!!" "I'm deeply sorry, Egon!" "Derek! Give me your hand!" [Very high pitched] "That's not Derek's HAND!" "ECCHI!! I don't want to know what that was!" "Neither do I!" [The lights come back on] Tory: Get away from me! [shoves Peter away] Peter: You grabbed ME! [Tory's face turns a bright red] Derek: Oh, I think the ecchi level has hit an all-time high. Tory: Too bad it wasn't a two--HEY! Derek: [puts the newspaper away] I don't need to be made sick anymore. Ray: 0.0 Winston: Egon, how come they weren't sent back to VO-land? Egon: I just don't know, I'll need time to think on it. Tory: NOOOOO!!!!! [starts to bang her head on the wall] Ray: You think she'll be OK? Derek: No, she was never 'OK'. [Egon walks over and inspects the machine.] Winston: See anything? Egon: Aha, the stream equator was switched off! [flicks the switch] [The bridge starts to shake again as steam pours from the machine] Peter: That was a mistake! [Everyone hits the ground and covers their heads] *KAAAAABOOOOOOOM* Chibitory: Is it safe? OH, NO! Chibiderek: What is i---KUSO! [Tory and Derek notice that everyone is now the size of little kids] Chibipeter: What happened?! Chibiray: We're chibis!? Chibitory: This sucks, we're the size of Chibiusa! Chibiderek: Too many things happen on this satellite. Chibid: I think that's why it was abandoned in the first place, Master. Chibiwinston: This is no way for a grown man to make a living! Chibiegon: Gah, I'm short! Chibitory: Stuff it, Spengler! Chibiray: I'd say we're more like the age of about 8 years old. Chibiwinston: At least physically. [Chibitory leans on Chibipeter and starts sucking her thumb.] Chibiegon: Or maybe mentally, as well. Chibipeter: Being hentai at this size is almost disgusting. [They all stare at Chibipeter.] Chibipeter: I said *almost*. [long pause] Chibiderek: Great. We're all four feet tall, our heads are huge, we've got no noses, our bodies are puny, and, worst of all, we've got-- Chibid: Movie sign? [Chibiderek glares at Chibid] Chibid: Sorry, Master. Chibiderek: Don't worry about it, D. [Door sequence] [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6] [They trail in and sit down] > Falkyn -- Chapter 9 > By: Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) > >________________________________________________________ Chibitory: You must be at least this tall to read this fanfiction. Chibiegon: Too bad we're not short enough to NOT read. Chibipeter: Crapcrapcrapcrap! > No, she thought, I won't disturb him. Chibiwinston: Now here's a first, people are starting to think. Chibiderek: You would have loved the last chapter, everyone was having revelationary thoughts. > Falkyn was deep in concentration. He was seeking other techniques [The rest of the chibis stare at Chibipeter] Chibipeter: [super innocent expression] Um...what? >that he could utilize, other life force, or 'chi', techniques. He had told >Li'na that he was going to attempt to use the Ashura-Senkuu, the "God of >War's Air Flash," a technique that was basically teleportation. Chibitory: So it's basically teleportation. Chibiray: SAILOR...TELEPORT! Chibiwinston: Enough with the Sailor Moon references, unless you want to see part three of Bishoumen Senshi Sailor Ghostbusters! Chibipeter: AAAIEEEE! Chibiegon: *THUD* >He had been in the same position for the last half-hour, the only sound he >made was a low, even growl coming from deep within his throat. Chibiray: 0.0 Chibitory: Derek, you said this wasn't a lemon! Chibiderek: Didn't I already say it WASN'T!? Chibiwinston: [squints at the screen] You need to get your minds out the gutter! Chibiegon: I concur! Chibiderek: Do I have a second on that? Chibid: (Many people) Aye! >Suddenly, his eyes flashed open. He stood up quickly, and his body faded >out. He reappeared on another rock, but he was flat on his face, hardly >breathing. Chibitory: (Falkyn) I'm faaaaaaaadin-- ARGH! Chibid: *SPLOOT* > "Falkyn," Li'na said, running over to him. Chibitory: Derek, Chibiderek: Tory, [Chibiwinston appears with a rolled up newspaper that's almost big as him] Chibiwinston: *THWAP* *THWAP* Chibitory: ITAI! Chibiderek: [shakes it off] Mada yaru tsumori ka yo? Chibipeter: Winston, you need to lay off the coffee. They didn't say anything hentai. Chibiwinston: No, I actually tripped. That paper is huge! Chibitory: Yeah, right... [starts to mumble] > Falkyn pulled himself up. "I-I'm all right." He fell to his knees. Chibitory: And started to do the h--WINSTON! Chibiwinston: No hentai! Chibitory: I was going to say, THE HUSTLE, YOU NOODNINK! Chibiegon: I think he's so used to catching the hentai comments...it's becoming purely functional. Chibitory: [mumbling] If he comes at me with that paper one more time, his butt is mine! Chibipeter: I noticed something, we can't curse at this size! Chibitory: Oh, darn! Golly gee wiz! AAAAHHHH! [starts sucking her thumb again] >"Or maybe not." He assumed a sitting position. His breathing changed from >rapid and short to slow and even. "Li'na," he said, "I believe now is the Chibiderek: (Falkyn singing) Age of Aquarius!!! Chibitory: [eyes narrowed into slits] And you say I need new material! >time I teach you the techniques of life force. These are very powerful, but >they consume your own energies. If you believe your body is strong enough, Chibipeter: Don't look at me! Chibiderek: Li'na is as strong as a mule! Chibitory: Looks like one too! Chibiegon: I think she's cute! Chibipeter: Whoa, I never heard Egon call someone cute! Chibid: Except when you were Peter-chan... Chibipeter: Hush! >you may accept. If you accept, but are not strong enough, these attacks >will rip your body asunder." Chibiegon: (Li'na falsetto) Whew! For a second I thought you said my body would be ripped to pieces! >He looked to his student. "Are you going to accept, and learn abilities >that can turn stone to dust?" Chibitory: NANI!? I wanna learn! Chibiderek: That's like making a drunk talk in front of a candle...disastrous! > Li'na considered the pro's and con's of the decision. "With all due >respect, I can't. I just don't want to take the risks." Chibiray: Wimp! Chibipeter: Just because she don't want to endanger herself doesn't make her a wimp. > Falkyn wasn't upset by her decision. "I had anticipated you would >decline." He bowed his head. "I was faced with that decision. I accepted, >and I became perhaps the most powerful fighter on this planet." [Chibiray starts dancing back and forth.] Chibiegon: What's wrong, Ray? Chibiray: I have to potty! [A collective groan arises] Chibid: It's ok, I can pause the fiction. [Chibiray runs out] [LONG PAUSE] [Chibiray finally returns smiling] Chibiray: Continue! > "Falkyn," Li'na asked, "how exactly did you become so powerful? I'm >just really interested." Chibipeter: (Li'na falsetto) Did you kill a powerful mage?! Chibiderek: (Falkyn) I drank milk! Chibipeter: (Li'na falsetto) Aah! Chibiegon: Where did that come from!? Chibipeter: I told you, hentai comments at this size are disgusting! Chibitory: You at any size is disgusting! Chibiray: Zinger! > Falkyn took in a deep breath. "Very well. The story of my power is >almost a decade in the making..." > Chibiwinston: I wonder if Falkyn is related to George Lucas? Chibitory: The resemblance is there... Chibiegon: Audience, what you've just witnessed was the obscure Star Wars comment. Chibiderek: Great going, Egon, you just gave it away! Chibiray: Not like anyone wanted it in the beginning! > "...Keep your stance deep! Make sure your weight is on your front >foot so you can push off quickly!" Chibiderek: Flashback alert! [The Chibis start waving their hands] Chibis: Dooly, dooly, dooly, dooly, dooly, doooooooo! > A young Falkyn was listening ardently to his instructor, an old man >who wore a black robe and walked about with a wooden cane. His white beard >reached to his waist, and he tucked it into his belt. "Now, show me the >technique I taught you!" Chibiray: It's Fizban! Chibipeter: Fanboy! Chibiray: Shaddup! Chibiegon: It's not like anyone would get it... Chibiderek: I would! I've read Dragonlance. Chibid: Besides, Fizban wore a gray robe and a shapeless hat... > With a feral roar, Falkyn hopped forward, executed a full forward >flip, and split four wooden boards with a downward axe kick. He stood tall, >smoothed his gi, and said, "How was that?" Chibiegon: (old man, badly dubbed) That was impressive...but how do you stop a bullet! HEEYAH! Chibitory: You let him watch kung-fu films, don't you? Chibipeter: It keeps him quiet. > The old man bowed slightly. "Impressive, most impressive. Even I >couldn't execute the rolling koppo kick that quickly and that precisely." Chibitory: Egon, I wish you'd quit reading them before us! Chibiegon: I don't! Chibiwinston: It's too much of a coincidence. Chibiderek: Cowinkydink? I think not! >All four boards were broken in the same places. "That completes your >review. Now, I will show you my most powerful techniques." He threw his >open hands Chibitory: --revealing a large club! RUN, FALKYN, RUN! Chibiderek: Feeling dark? Chibitory: Darn right! >forward, and a bright flash emanated from his palms. A large boulder on the >other side of the training area was reduced to dust. "I will teach you my >chi attacks. These are very powerful, but the trade-off is that the attacks >use your own energies to execute. Are you willing to take the risks >involved with this next level of training, Falkyn?" Chibipeter: Why do I feel like I'm watching "Interview With a Vampire"? > Falkyn bowed. "Yes, sensei, I am. I will take any risk I must, to >become stronger." Chibiwinston: SUCKER!! > The old man shook his head. "Sometimes, strength is but a facade for >evil. You must remember that these powers are not to be used for evil Chibitory: (Evil) You are nothing but a facade for me! Chibipeter: (Strength) Am not! Chibitory: (Evil) Are too, are too! Chibipeter: (Strength) Am not, am not! Chibiwinston: *THWAP* *THWAP* Chibitory: That's it! [Chibitory pounces on Chibiwinston] Chibiderek: ROUND 1...FIGHT! [The Chibis all pounce on the fighting pair.] [Seconds later, the fight is over with all the Chibis crying] Chibitory: Winston is a meanie!! [starts sucking her thumb] Chibiwinston: Shaddup! Chibiegon: Dear God, listen to us! We sound like first graders! Chibipeter: Hello, McSpengler! We *ARE* first graders! Chibiderek: It seems the longer we are Chibi-sized, the more our mental states are dilapidating! Chibitory: [stares at Derek] Aha, you have been hanging with Egon and Ray! >purposes, and the use of these powers should only be reserved for >life-or-death emergencies..." > Chibipeter: Like when Ray eats the last of the ice cream! > "...I have betrayed my master's expectations," Falkyn said, >interrupting his tale. "My chi techniques have been standard attacks for >me, when they were not to be used that frequently." > "Continue, please," Li'na asked. > Chibiegon: (Li'na falsetto) Please do, I need a nap now! [pauses for a moment and snaps out of mode] GAH! Chibitory: I am...tired...dang. > Falkyn's chi potential was tapped by his master, and he was taught >one of the easiest of all chi attacks, the "Hadouken", or "Wave Motion >Technique". [The Chibis start doing the Wave] Chibiray: *THUD* [starts snoring] Chibiegon: I guess Ray needed a nap, too! Chibitory: No fair! > He was then taught several variations of the technique over the >next several months, the "Chikou-hou", or "Energy Cannon"; the >"Sou-Chi-Dan", or "Internal Energy Bullet"; the "Sansou-Ken" or "One >Pattern", which he then used often as the "Swift Wind"; and the >"Chi-En-Zan", or "Energy Slashing Disc". Chibiwinston: Or even the "Haki-saki-kyaku!"; the "Running to the store for more ice cream so Peter would shut up!" Chibiderek: That sounds more like some kind of kicking move. These are all from Dragon Ball Z! > He also toughened himself up, as some of the scars on his young body >proved. > Chibipeter: How do you get a scar *there*?! Chibitory: Peter, get away, you sicken me! Chibiderek: That's a first! > "You learned that many techniques?" Li'na asked. Chibiegon: (Falkyn) Yes, wanna see? [manical chuckle] Chibiderek: Are you happy, Tory? Your darkness has rubbed off on Egon! Chibitory: [big anime type grin] Of course! [flashes the victory sign] > Falkyn nodded. "That, and several more. I was also taught a >self-sacrificing technique that I promised never to use unless I had no Chibipeter: Ice cream! Chibiwinston: If I hear Ice cream one more time...it's on! Chibipeter: Eep! >other choice. It is the 'Shi-Bakuu', the 'Deadly Explosion'. In essence, I >self-destruct." He smiled, but it was almost non-existant. "Don't ask to >see it, as I can only do it once." [The Chibis start to giggle] Chibiegon: Of course self-destruction means you can only do it once! Chibiwinston: How does one smile, but don't smile!? Chibipeter: You'd think Falkyn is Budda, or something! > "I've been meaning to ask you," Li'na said, "in the cave of the Mahou >no Ken, what did those phrases you said mean?" > "'Midareuchi-Mahouken-Faira'," Falkyn rattled off with no trouble, >"roughly translates to 'Non-Targeted Magic Sword Second Fire', while >'Sandaga' means Third Thunder." > Chibitory: I think we're getting an actual list of Falkyn's attacks! Chibipeter: You think we'd actually remember this? Both: NO! Chibiderek: I can. [Chibitory and Chibipeter stare at him] > When Falkyn left his sensei, ten years after he first arrived, he had >new knowledge, power, and understanding. He wandered the land, until he >came across two islands in the middle of an ocean. The land was so diverse, >he couldn't leave. Chibitory: WAKE UP! [smacks Chibiray on the behind] Chibiray: GGYYAAAH!!! Don't DO that! [climbs back into his chair growling] > However, when he came to a country called Daimon, he met a former >student of his master's, a magic user by the name of Razhad Demini. Razhad Chibipeter: Was once Falkyn's lover! [The Chibis stare at Peter and suddenly start to shudder] Chibiderek: Ecchi to the next power, Peter! >was once a benevolent and humble person, but when he heard of this 'Falkyn', >and that he was a student of his master, Razhad went berserk. Chibiderek: Then I guess he wasn't so benevolent! Chibitory: He has one heck of a jealous streak! Chibipeter: He's a Scorpio! >He attacked Falkyn in the dead of night, Chibiderek: (Night) Shouldn't had the salmon mousse! UUURRGH *THUD* Chibitory: And there we have the meaning of life! Chibipeter: Fangirl! Chibitory: That's Ms. Otaku to you, Nincompoop! Chibiegon: [snickers] Nincompoop?! >but still, Falkyn was ready for him. He battled with all his might, but the >magics of Razhad were too much. Even his chi techniques proved futile. >With so much riding on his shoulders, Chibiegon: (so much) Yeeehaw!! Ride 'em, cowboy! Chibiwinston: That was just *too* obscure! >not just his own safety, but that of the people around him, Falkyn found a >Gatekeeper, a priest who guards the Gates that can transport people through >Planes of existence, and had him open a Gate, into which Falkyn forced >Razhad. > Chibipeter: You must go into the gate! *SHOVE* Chibitory: What th--AAAHH! [falls out her chair. Her face crumples as she starts to cry.] WAAAA!!! Chibid: *KBANG* Chibipeter: OOOF!!! WAAAAA!! Chibiegon: Great, now they won't shut up! > "You know the rest about Razhad," Falkyn said. "Like before, he may >just brainwash somebody into doing his bidding." > "Pray he doesn't try that again," Li'na suggested. > Chibiderek: Namu-amida-butsu! Chibiegon: Nam yoro hirange kyooooo! Chibipeter: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer... > Following the incidents with Razhad, Falkyn continued his exploration Chibiray: (Falkyn) Ooo, what's in here...! SORRY, MADAM! >of the "R'itni Islands", as they were called. He roamed freely, not letting Chibiderek: BORN FREE!!!!!! >anybody interfere in his travels. After a while, people learned to fear >this man, "Falkyn", who was rumored to have torn giants apart with his bare >hands. > Chibiegon: Well, they were actually giant flies, there is a difference. > "I soon came across a small tavern in YahKii," Falkyn said, "where I >utterly destroyed Gorg. The rest, you know." Chibitory: AHHH!! We're back at the beginning! All: AAAAAAHHHH!!!! Chibiderek: Relax, the flashback ends here. All: Whew! > Li'na nodded. "And now, you and I are sheltered in the Zrinthian >mountains. You've taught me so much about combat, I feel like I could take >on the planet." > Chibiwinston: Watch Rain Woman here attempt it! > Some time later, Falkyn and Li'na were asked to clean out a vault >used by a despotic warlord. They reluctantly accepted. > Chibiegon: OOO, story shift! Chibipeter: Two times! [Everybody sways from one side to another] > The warlord's stronghold was deep within a mountain. Chibiray: So it's deep within a mountain. Chibiegon: Yeah, deep. Chibitory: That was so irrelevant, shut up! Chibiderek: You know a word like irrelevant?! Chibitory: [glares at Chibiderek] > "Is there *anything* we're sent to find that isn't in a mountain?" >Falkyn asked rhetorically. > The cave led to a small wooden door. Chibiwinston: (Falkyn) FINALLY! A wooden door! > "Hardly what I would call a grand entrance for a warlord," Li'na >pointed out. "Looks more like a gnome hole to me." Chibitory: Well, maybe it's a bar?! Chibipeter: .... Chibiegon: What's that? Chibipeter: Oh nothing, just ....ing for no reason. Chibiderek: That's real obscure, stop that! > Falkyn turned the doorknob and opened the door. Suddenly, a large, >glowing fist slammed into his chest, throwing him several meters back. The >hand then grabbed the handle and closed the door. Chibiegon: I guess they don't have proper ID? > Falkyn stood and said, "That was fun." He opened the door and the >same thing happened. Chibitory: How many times must something happen to him for him to understand? Chibipeter: He is scarred from head to toe... Chibiwinston: Like I said before, he's as sharp as a bowling ball. > "Maybe we should knock," Li'na suggested. Chibiray: Ya think!? Chibiwinston: They don't. Chibiray: I guess you're right. > Falkyn just said, "What kind of thinking is that? We have to >outsmart the appendage." [The Chibis start laughing] Chibiegon: Don't think too hard, you are the main character! Chibiderek: Watch who you're knocking. > Li'na knocked on the door, and the hand opened it. "Some things call >for thinking," she said, "not strongarm tactics." > Chibitory: I know she just didn't say *that*! Chibiderek: I'll take stupid people for 100, Alex. Chibiegon: I have yet to see her make one intelligent decision throughout the fanfic. Chibitory: Let's not start on intelligence, shall we? > The door led to another door, similarly trapped, then to a huge iron >double-door. Falkyn pushed one side open with a loud rusty creak, and the >two treasure hunters entered the ancient warlord fortress. > Chibiray: K-Mart?! Chibiwinston: OOO! There's a sale on towels! [Both Chibis squeal] Chibitory: Argh, my ears! Chibid: That sound is very annoying! > "It's quiet," Falkyn said. Chibiegon: Too quiet. > "Too quiet," Li'na added. Chibiwinston: Dangit, Egon! Stop that! Chibiegon: Its not my fault! Chibipeter: You lie! I know you read this before us! Chibiegon: I DON'T! > "It's a Decepticon trap!" Chibis: WHAT?! Chibitory: Not another Transformers reference? Derek, is this all you watched as a kid?! Chibiderek: No, and I'm not talking to you! Chibitory: [face scrunches up] Waaaaaaa! > The two turned around and saw a samurai warrior behind them, wielding >two long katana. Falkyn unsheathed his own katana, and Li'na her longsword. Chibitory: 0_0 Chibipeter: 0_0 > The samurai's armor was matted with dust, dirt, and cobwebs. His >hair was grayish white, and his skin was a deathly shade of gray. Falkyn >threw the first swing, but the samurai blocked with his left blade and >struck with the right. Chibiray: TO ARMS! Chibiegon: TO ARMS! Chibiwinston: ARMOR OF THE WILDFIRE...TAO CHI!!!!!!! Chibiderek: ARMOR OF THE HARDROCK...TAO ICHI!!!!!!! Chibipeter: FLARE UP...NOWWWWWW!!!!! Chibitory: Nani? Chibiderek: I don't know! > Li'na's longsword intercepted the slash, and distracted the samurai >long enough for Falkyn to counterattack and slash across the samurai's >chest. His armor gave very little, not allowing Falkyn to cut. Chibiray: Well, that *IS* the aim of armor! > "Try as you like," the samurai said, "you will not enter the fortress >of Rezock!" Chibid: If you smell, what the Re-ZOCK...is cookin'! [Chibid flashes the Android's Eyebrow] Chibiderek: You've been watching WWF in your leisure time, huh? > "What kind of name is 'Rezock'?" Li'na asked. Chibitory: Something you can't pronounce correctly! Chibiderek: Hear, hear! > Falkyn slashed upward, toward the samurai's unprotected visage. His >attack was parried, and his blade shattered. However, the momentum of his >attack slashed across the samurai's right eye. Chibis: AHHHHHH!!!! Chibipeter: (Samurai) Argh! My eye! Someone get me some tissue for my eye! > Black blood spurted from the wound, and the samurai dropped one of >his weapons to clutch at his face. "Agh! My eye!" he cried. Chibiegon: And you say I read this ahead! Chibipeter: Die, Spengler. > Falkyn prepared a Chi-En-Zan disc for the final blow. As he gathered >his chi, the samurai held one of his weapons forward. Chibiderek: (Samurai) Please, take my weapon... > "The Mundane Blade will protect me from your magic!" the samurai >announced. Chibitory: [snickers] Mundane?! Chibiderek: Yeah, it mundanely protects him....hehehe. > Falkyn's raised hand formed his chi into a large disc, and he hurled >it forward. Chibiray: Supaakuringu Waido Puresshaa!!! Chibiegon: Waarudo Sahakingu!! Chibitory: What's with the SM references? Chibipeter: Wait, if no one is in VO-land, who is controlling this?! VO Checkers87: HI!!! All: DEAR GOD, NO!!!!!! THE HORROR!!!! [Chaos errupts in the theatre. Some Chibis try to break out, others give up and start crying.] VO Checkers87: Calm down, I'm changing this boring fic, to BSSG pt. 3! All: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! VO Checkers87: Yea--*THUD* Chibipeter: What happened? VO Satan: Sorry, I just couldn't let that continue! [The Chibis look around with large eyes] VO Satan: Well, gotta run. See you around, at least, one of you... [The Chibighostbusters look at Chibipeter] Chibipeter: How come you guys always look at me when someone says stuff like that?! Chibighostbusters: NO COMMENT! Chibiderek: And there we have the sketch from 'Chicken, he clucked!' [A loud groaning is heard as the walls shake] Chibipeter: Sorry, Fourth wall! Chibifourth wall: No prob! > "No!" the samurai said. "No! This is not possible!" > "My attacks are not magic," Falkyn told him. "Shi-ne!" (Die!) Chibiray: SHI--oh darn, he already said it! > The disc tore through the armor like a hot knife through butter. The >samurai screamed in pain, but did not die. "I... I am... already... >dead..." Chibiegon: Then...why...are...you...talking? >he gasped. "Looks... like... I'm going... again..." He fell flat on his >face, dead once again. Chibipeter: Er, what just happened? Chibiwinston: Falkyn's chi attack killed him. > Falkyn stared at the shattered blade he held. "This katana has been >by my side for a decade," he said. "Now, it is worthless." He threw the >remains of his weapon aside, and grabbed the shining silver blade the >samurai Chibiegon: You just don't throw away a sword like that! Chibipeter: Egon, it was broken! >used from the ground. He removed a bamboo sheath from the samurai's belt, >and slid the blade into the sheath. Li'na took the other blade from the >samurai, and they continued their trek into the fortress of Rezock. > Chibiegon: To boldy go where no martial artist has gone before! Chibipeter: Tribbles, everywhere!! > The two adventurers found the throne room of the tyrant Rezock, and >serached for any kind of secret door. Chibitory: They like finding bathrooms, don't they!? Chibiderek: I implore that you get more material, fast! > Suddenly, a stone slab dropped, blocking the door. A disembodied >voice began to speak. "He who makes it... needs it not. He who buys it... >wants it not. He who uses it... knows it not." Chibipeter: He who drives it, does not? Chibiegon: Don't try to be cryptic, it just makes you look crazy. Chibitory: He was doing good before he said that! Chibiwinston: [sighs] Idiots! It's a coffin! > Falkyn wracked his brain. "I've heard this somewhere before," he >muttered, "but where? Of course! A coffin!" Chibitory: This bit is getting *real* old! > The slab on which the throne sat slid into the ground, and behind it >stood a door. Chibiegon: As opposed to lying. Falkyn hadn't quite reached that door yet. Chibitory: That's annoying, Egon, stop it! Chibipeter: Nitpicker... > Falkyn knocked on it, hoping to avoid what happened last time. >Cautiously, he opened the door. There was no giant glowing hand behind it >to deliver a right hook to his jaw. Relieved, he and Li'na proceeded down >into the bowels of the fortress. > Chibiderek: (Falkyn) Follow me, Li'na! Doodeedoo--WHOA! > A large, rotted wooden door stood at the bottom of a seemingly >endless staircase. A large bronze "R" was emblazoned on it, and decorated Chibitory: Riverdale High!? Chibiderek: [rolls his eyes] >with archaic runes. It refused to open, to knocking, force, and shoulder >charges. Fed up, Falkyn blasted it with a Makankousappou, thoroughly >draining him of energy. The door collapsed inward. Chibipeter: (Door) Dang, all you had to do was knock! Chibiderek: He did! The spoony thing just wouldn't open! > "Go on," Falkyn said. "I'll stay here and rest for a while." Chibiegon: Yes, Li'na. Go, walk stupidly into your death! > Li'na entered the room while Falkyn stayed back to regain strength. >Just as he was about to follow, Li'na screamed, "Falkyn! Help!" > Chibitory: D, remind me to smite Egon later, k? Chibid: As you wish. >To be continued... Chibis: DARN! [They file out of the Theatre] [6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1] Chibiderek: Pete'll really like part 10! Chibipeter: Why? Chibiderek: I threw in a gratuitous nudity shot. Chibipeter: 0_0 *drool* Chibitory: NANI!? You told me you didn't make a lemon! Chibiderek: Geez, sorry. Fortunately, I didn't elaborate very much; I only implied that Rezock pulled Li's gi open and stared at her, while she was being held by a couple golems to prevent her escape. Chibipeter: 0_0 *drool* Chibiwinston: WAKE UP, PETER! *THWAP* Chibipeter: *drool* OW! Winston! What the hey was THAT for?! Chibiderek: Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up... Chibid: [presses the button] [ FWOOOOOOOOOSH! ] \ | / \ | / \ | / \|/ -----O----- /|\ / | \ / | \ / | \ [Screen grows dark, voices overheard] "We gotta get part 10!" "Shaddap, Peter! D, if you please?" "Gladly." *KBANG* "WAAAAAAAAA!!!" "We have to get de-chibified fast, Egon!" ________________________________________________________________________ "Falkyn, Chapter 9" by: Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) SHAMELESS PLUGS: You can find the rest of Falkyn the MSTing at: http://winston_zeddemore.tripod.com/Falkyn Tory's Real Ghostbusters Webpage: http://winston_zeddemore.tripod.com Komera Waddi's RPG and Interactive Stories: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Stadium/4989/ EMAIL US! Tory L. Brown (tory_brown@yahoo.com) Derek Floyd (dfloyd84@yahoo.com) ___________________________________________________________________________ > The disc tore through the armor like a hot knife through butter. The >samurai screamed in pain, but did not die. "I... I am... already... >dead..." Chibiegon: Then...why...are...you...talking?